Mission Im-poo-sible

It all started with my cute little child toddling up to me and pointing to his butt and saying "Poo? Poo?" Thats his cute little alarm going off, telling me he stinks and requires my immediate attention. I threw him over my shoulder like I always do when I head to the nursery to change his diaper and laid him down on the changing table.
I have to do everything short of hog tying him to keep his hands out of his own doo, so we are wrestling and I get the dirty diaper off and think I have him cleaned up and then when I lift his legs up to put the new diaper on, I see a whole new mess now being ground into the changing table cover and up his back.
ACK!
I pick him up and clean him and set him down to run naked for a minute while I clean up the mess on the table. No sooner had I stripped the changing pad cover when my 4 year old comes down the hallway.
"Mommy! What is this? What did he do?? What is this?"
And I see my son in the doorway with BOTH of his hands covered in poop. It looked like he had been fingerpainting.
I gasped in horror and told him "DONT MOVE!" and grabbed his arms and guided him straight to the sink and as Im scrubbing his hands, he is explaining that theres more on the floor and on his baby brothers car in the living room.
Really? How the hell did this happen? There was no indication that the diaper boarders had been breached. No smears down the leg, no doo on the top of his shorts.
I went out into the living room and sure as shit (pun intended) there's a glob of doo dripping down the side of a toy car and another little dollop on the ground.
I cleaned up the mess and kept trying to figure out what exactly just went down.
Im still baffled.