Things That Keep Me Up at Night.

1. I wonder if Im screwing up my kids.
2. I am afraid that God can read my mind and that no matter how great I live my life, Im doomed to hell anyways because he knows deep down inside Im kind of evil.
3. How the hell a computer virus is created and why anyone would want to intentionally make your computer wig out and reboot continuously.
4. I wonder how much further our society can decline and what point will it bottom out. (and what will that look like? *shudder*)
5. When my kids are old enough to play sports am I going to be able to watch them and actually know whats going on, or are they going to not want me there because Im clueless.
6. Im afraid all the trees in my yard will catch fire and I will have to jump out of my window barefoot and stand in the street looking really bad while my house burns down.
7. Im afraid of telling my children about the dangers of the world and spoiling their innocence.
8. What does it look like when birds "do it"?
9. Why do we smack our hands together at the end of a performance? (really think about that one. The more you do, the weirder it seems.) Clap Clap Clap.....
10. Why someone went into the ocean, pulled out something that looked like a rock, pried it open, saw a nasty ass booger looking thing inside and thought "Im gonna eat this."
11. How come you get fined for picking the state flower but its perfectly legal to shoot and kill the state bird?
12. What was that sound? Is it an intruder?
13. If I get a stun gun, would I be brave enough to use it if it came down to it?
14. I wonder if Nadya Suleman is lying on TV when she acts like she has a plan, and at night she is shitting bricks wondering what the hell she's done and how the hell its all gonna work out.
15.I wonder if my friends who previously only had a suspicion that I was nuts, are now completely convinced.