Pearls

Ive been trying for three days to sit down and update my blog, but I have not been granted such luxuries lately. So here's a quick tip that my son offered up when I get frustrated. (Courtesy of the latest episode of Blues Clues)

"When you get frustrated, you stop, take a big breath, and stink."

I know all the joys having a house of boys has in store for me. Having watched many episodes of Malcolm in the Middle, and watching my grown husband interact with his grown brother I have an idea.
And my own two children are starting to clue me in as well. They say kids are like sponges, absorbing everything around them.
This is true, they absorb the energy out of me faster than Brawny on spilled OJ. But that's not what I'm getting at, so back to my point.
They are so quick to learn something new, and just as quick to pass it on.
Take the karate chop/high kick.
My friends tweenie cousins played a fun game of karate-chop/high kick with my friends daughter. Who in turn played the fun game of karate-chop/high kick with my son. This was broken up after a couple of stomach shots. Even though no one was hurt and giggles were a plenty, this was still a game barreling down the fast lane on its way to the city of Ugly. So that was done.
*Pfffwp*
(sound of sponge absorbing)
Fast forward 5 days, and I'm laying on the ground and my 20 month old walks up to me and starts kicking me in the head. Sure it was a wobbly kick with no power behind it, but I know what he was getting at. In his little mind, he just pulled off some great Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon move with perfect precision.
This morning, my oldest was sitting on the sofa with his legs sticking off the end, and my youngest would back up until he touched his feet, then my son would launch him across the room. Inches from smacking his whole body against the baby gate on the opposite wall not unlike like a crash test dummy, he would laugh and laugh and then back up and do it again.
Yes. They were playing "launch the baby".
So I have an idea what I'm in for. And I'm not prepared.
And now if you will excuse me, my son just scotch taped his arms and legs and head and asked me "Is this all I need to roller skate?"
Thank God that boy doesn't own any roller skates...

Niagara

Trying to discipline a 1 1/2 year old with a 4 year old around is like trying to swim up a waterfall.

Walking Among the Dinosaurs

Lunch was, once again, a huge success. Although I cant complain since the peanut butter brontosaurus was tossed in favor of carrot sticks.
But still. Someone needs to appreciate the cute frickin' sandwich I made. And I mean someone besides the firetruck.

Pinch Me.

This week has been one of those weeks where it just seems like the bickering was magnified, the screams were amplified and the mischief was taken to all new heights. It seemed relentless, even down to the attempted 7 o'clock bedtimes that turned into late naps that turned into 11 o'clock bedtimes. I cant prove it, but I truly think that if you wake with your kids, and go to sleep with your kids and get little to no kid free time in between that your life expectancy decreases dramatically.
So as I sit here to recharge with my third cup of coffee I find myself the winner of the SAHM lottery.
My 4 year old is at school and my 19 month old is asleep in the other room.
Can you hear that?
Its quiet, except for the sounds of my typing and quiet noise of the news on the television.
THE NEWS!!
Not the brain piercing sound of the raspy Captain asking me if I know who lives in a pineapple under the sea.
Let me just sit here and soak this in.
.
.
.
.
Hells bells. Nap time is over. I hear my little tank thundering down the hallway.
Well, I will always have the memory of this sweet moment.

Happy 4th of July!

Scanning......scanning.......target located!!

Toddlers are a curious folk. Their little minds cannot comprehend directions that involve more than one step. They haven’t mastered the art of keeping their lips together and thus walk around with a constant thread of drool connecting their chins to their shirts. Heck they cant even control their bowels very well. You can entertain them by covering their own eyes over and over again.

However…..leave a wallet, cell phone or iced coffee on a counter anywhere in the house, and they will take a mental picture of it and go about their business. Then three hours later when you are called away to clean up a mess in another room, they will pull that picture up and with GPS accuracy they will seek it out.

My son will be sitting on the floor, watching his hand open and close with the same intense concentration as a bomb tech trying to decide to cut the blue or red wire. If I leave the room for a split second, I will return to find him either perched precariously on the back of the sofa manhandling the glass candle holder on the wall, or sitting on the top of the computer desk pumping lotion all over the table. He is just that quick and determined to find trouble.

Im not 100% positive, but I suspect my 4 year old is in on it too. I think Im being punked.