Surely you can't be serious. I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

Conversation with my son at lunch:
Mom, can you teach my baby brother how to talk?
"No, he is eating, so he isn't talking, he is being quiet."
"No, I mean YOU talk and pretend its him."
"No, Im eating too."
"Then I'll do it."
"Why don't you eat too, and we will all be quiet."
"Okay."
"Sound like a plan Stan?"
"Ug! I wish everyone would stop calling me Stan. That is not my name! Ya hear that everyone?!?"