Wear dark or neutral tones when going to the Principals office. Or court.

Raising kids is hard. They are smart little heathens.
With mouths.
My 4 year old lately has dragged his feet to the dinner table then complained when his food is cold. I think I fell for that once and reheated it. Once.
This evening he was busy playing video games and I made him a bowl of macaroni and cheese. I said "Dinners ready. Come eat."
"I dont want to. "
"Ok, well eat it hot now, or cold later. Im not heating it up for you. Lets go."
"Not yet."
"Now!"
"Im racing."
"Seriously. You are going to eat it cold then. And you WILL eat it."
He finally peels his eyes away from the game and goes to the kitchen table where he stares at his pasta and is not happy that he can no longer see steam rising from the bowl.
"Its not hot!"
(refraining from the "no shit sherlock" comment that was cutting into the tip of my tongue.)
"No, its not."
"Well I want steam to come up from my macaroni."
"Then you should have come to the table when I asked you to."
"Im not going to eat it. Its not hot."
"You ARE going to eat it, and if its not hot, its your own fault."
"I want it to be hot."
"Im sorry."
"Sorry doesn't make it hot."

Im so glad I was holding the baby at that point, so I could hide behind him while I had my inappropriate "that was good one!" smile on my face. Once I had my facial expressions under control I sternly told him that if he makes one more comment like that and he is going straight into a time out.

Oh lord, am I turning into one of those parents who thinks its funny when their kid farts in public or says shit when he drops his hot wheel? What next? Should I teach him how to mix me a Jack and Coke and fetch me my tobacky?
I better go read through my parenting books again. I think I missed a chapter.