Letter of Apology to my Mother

I would like to apologize to my mother for all the torment I put her through when I was a child.

Im sorry I acted like I knew more than you do. Im sorry I acted like my way was better than your way, even when ultimately my way crashed and burned and I ended having to do it your way, but never admitted that it was your way or that it was better. I am sorry I back talked, cursed, gave you dirty looks, disrespected and defied you. I am sorry that I refused to listen to you when you offered advice, then acted like it was your fault that I didnt take that advice.
For all of it. I am sorry.

And Id like to thank you too. Thank you for not selling me to the gypsies as you often threatened. Thank you for warning me that I would get worms if I didnt wash my hands or cook my chicken thoroughly. Oh, and thank you for telling me that the little white spots on my finger nails were from not eating my vegetables. (thats great advice by the way. I got lots of strange looks when I shared that one at school.) Thank you for not knocking my block off when I did things that truly defied logic. I am eternally in your debt.

She spoke to me prophetically when she used to say "I hope when you have kids one day, they act just like you do." Ha!
I think I have one of those now.


*Though let me add this: The apology, though sincere, only pertains to the small fraction of time that I was ornery. I do believe, and I think my mom will back me up here, that about 98% of the time, I was an angel.
What? 98% isn't accurate?
More like 60/40?
No?
50/50?
Eh, what do you know anyways? ;)