He took the Who pudding, he took the roast beast...

This afternoon I, apparently still feeling the holiday high from 3 days of turkey dinners or the peppermint ice cream I had just eaten, decided to put up our fake tree and enlist the help of my three year old. The one year old, was left to his own devices. This is how it went down:
"Ive got a branch! Ive got a branch Mommy.
Mommy, heres a branch. Ive got a branch. Mom. Heres a branch. Moooooooom, I SAID heres a branch. Mommy I have a branch...."
(stop baby from digging in the trash)
"Mommy I have the next branch. MOM! Heres a branch. Awwwwwww I was gonna give that you. I said I would get the branch. Heres a branch Mommy. Mommy, look! He's got the remote!"
(take remote from baby)
"Is that the last branch? Heres a branch mommy. Remember when you were a little girl and you helped me put the tree up??"
*?*
"Heres a branch mommy. Mommy, heres a branch."
(Get dog food out of baby's hands)
"Are we done? Heres a branch. I got it before you did! Neener Neener Neeeener! Moooommy! Heres a branch. Take it Mommy, its heavy. Heres a branch Mom."
(Get baby out of garbage can again)
"Is Christmas here yet? I think its gonna snow. "
"It doesn't snow here."
"I think it does! The sun is going down, its gonna snow."
"It doesn't snow here."
(take two cans of cream of mushroom soup and a bottle of brandy away from the baby)
"I think it dooooooes. Its gonna snow a little bit. Heres a branch Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Are we done yet?"
"Yes!"


Thank God.
Where'd I put that brandy?.....