The Creature from the Laminate Lagoon

I decided to sweep my floor today. I don't do it nearly as often as I should. But really, its like painting a wall. Imagine you are trying to paint your wall blue, and with every brush stroke on the wall, there is your evil doppleganger right behind you covering up your blue paint with black. Pretty soon you wouldn't see much point in continuing to paint right? Im that way with sweeping. With each clean sweep of the broom, I have two little children right behind me covering my progress up with fresh layers of food crumbs, toys and juice drips.
As I'm sweeping this wad of crud thats snowballing down the hallway into a mass of "what the hell?" it occurred to me that my floor is a lot like a movie theater floor. Just as sticky, just as frightening, but without the benefit of a 90 minute escape into cinematic paradise.
Next of course after sweeping, I have to mop. This is just as much fun as the sweeping. Because the kids see the shiny wet floor and think its time for all skate. And no matter how much I threaten or warn or beg or plead, they cant stay on the carpet and wait for the floor to dry. Hell no. I may as well ask them to lick their elbows. Its just THAT physically impossible. My 4 year old is the ring leader, and the one year old is up for anything. So they snicker and give me sinister grins and charge down the hallway and inevitably slip on their asses, then coming crying to me wondering what happened and why didn't I stop them.
If you think about it, you rarely ever slip on a movie theater floor. The scary goo and popcorn crusties strewn about make for great traction. So really theres advantages to leaving the floor mucked up. Dont you think? ;)